The PhM / The Blagtoof WarTribe • PKing Your Ass Since September 25th 1996



 

More Milestones for us, all opposition is truly……gone.

September 23, 2012 Category: Clan News • 0 Comments

Ultima Online is 15 years old now. This Clan…..or Guild….is approaching it’s 16th Anniversary. We are the oldest, longest running MMORPG Clan in the history of the genre. Nothing anyone can say or do can take that away from us.

I am proud to say that we are a group of real life friends that have enjoyed countless hours over these 16 years together playing these games. We have explored the darkest, deepest dungeons. We have levelled all kinds of characters in all kinds of worlds. My friends have made this Guild what it is with me. I couldn’t imagine being without this group, nor could I imagine better, more loyal friends in the world. A man is only as good as his family and friends. And by that, I am the greatest in the world for I have the most amazing wife, amazing children and amazing friends anyone can ask for.

And we have killed the most players in the history of the genre. We have infuriated more of you people than any of you can count. We have spent countless hours, days, weeks, months….YEARS laughing at just how horribly we kick your pathetic asses all across virtual worlds and how much sheer red-faced frustration you spew your angry-type-hammering posts on forums.

And we’re going to keep this up for many more years to come. This Clan…Guild has already outlasted every single wannabe guild that has ever dared oppose us. Every whiney loudmouth that thought they were good is gone. Every flash in the pan “guild” that talked shit while getting their asses kicked….are gone.

There is nothing, not a single thing a single one of you can say or do at this point. You all still go on and on about us in forums on games we haven’t played in years. Our Guild still exists in Ultima Online on the Catskills Shard and we’re still the oldest and first Clan there. Our Guild is STILL the oldest Guild on Eonar in World Of WarCraft AND still the FIRST Guild on that server. You paid money to buy magazines on how to PvP written by ME while we slaughtered the scubs on Malestrom. You all still visit our site. You all don’t remember a damned thing from your MMORPG world of choice EXCEPT for your hatred of us and ALL of our names. We have to look at our kills pages, videos and magazine article screenshots to remember any of you. How’s that feel? That has to suck.

We have outlasted all of you. We are the First, Oldest, Longest Running MMORPG Guild in the history of the genre. We have outlasted the very MMORPGs that bore us. And we will ALWAYS be here. Always.

This Clan….this Guild…will outlast the genre itself.

~Lord Rakknarr, GM, The PhM
~Grishnak Blagtoof, WarBoss, The Blagtoof WarTribe


 

 

Time To School You Fucking Morons….

July 17, 2012 Category: Clan News • 0 Comments

Attention asshats! The biggest failure in MMORPG History is still Warhammer Online: Age Of Reckoning. Star Wars: The Old Republic is NOT a failure, let alone “the biggest failure in mmo history” like countless WOWTards are claiming. I mean, ok, these same fucking morons think WOW is the first and greatest MMORPG to ever exist, so that says a lot about how fucking dense they are, but come on now. Let’s get real. WAR is the biggest failure simply because it had the biggest potential to make a mark. SWTOR is fighting, it’s still going, it’s pushing and the team is working hard to keep it. They’re making big moves to make it what it deserves to be. They just have to cut out the cancer developers like Jeff Hickman who is the most clueless MMO Developer in history. Why do these companies let this clueless moron near their servers, let alone their GAMES?! How many huge potential games does this fucking nitwit have to demolish before someone says “hey, maybe we should can this dopey bitch”??

Recap.

Ultima Online is the first true MMORPG. It was the single greatest video game of all time, and is still the greatest MMORPG Pre-Trammel. EverQuest killed MMORPG potential. World Of Warcraft just copied EverQuest. Nothing new. Nothing amazing. All it did, was make MMORPGs more accessible by taking EverQuest and dumbing it down for mass-moron-consumption. That’s it.
Warhammer Online: Age Of Reckoning is the biggest failure in mmo history.
Star Wars The Old Republic is not even CLOSE.
Shut up, you fucking morons.

I know more than you idiots about this genre because I have been a part of it since it’s inception. I have the oldest MMORPG Guild in the history of the genre and it’s a simple proven fact. Fuck you idiots. Shut up, you are nothing.

~Rakk


 

 

PayPal Donations Now Accepted…

June 25, 2012 Category: Clan News • 0 Comments

For those of you that are alert and aware, you’ll notice that, right under the last link in Clan Entertainment, right above the Clan information Section on the sidebar, that I have added a PayPal Donation button. This is for a few reasons…one of them being something that none of you flash in the pan wannabe little Guilds would ever understand – This Guild and it’s members stick together and are a family. We all are a part of this thing, and we all work together to continue it’s existence, so that’s why it’s there.

You wish you were us.

~Rakk


 

 

More to come…?

June 23, 2012 Category: Clan News • 0 Comments

Yes it’s been quiet. Yes I haven’t posted much here in ages, and the frequency in which my posts come has lessened greatly compared to what it once was. Well, I’m busy. I have a lot on my plate. Family, Film Work, Book writing, our other various rewarding activities…

In other words, we have lives, and posting here is one of those things that doesn’t take a priority and happens only when there’s a few minutes of spare time.

The Guild has a lot going on, and we spend our time enjoying SWTOR, killing countless Rep-twats and Imperial newbs alike – man how much fun would that option have been in WOW back in the day. The bunch of asshole losers on Horde side on our weak ass server deserved to have our boots on their throats as much as the pussy little Alliance chicken shits. Oh well. Anyways, we enjoy killing our own side almost as much as killing the rep bitches. After all, how will the Imperial players on our side learn how to PvP if we don’t beat them in the face with their own classes?

We’re all set up with our nice Guild Bank, our millions upon millions of credits (at least my wife and I have millions of credits, I don’t know what the rest of you idiots are doing), and we’re living in a target rich environment, slaughtering Republic assclowns at every turn. Even in open world PvP! And what’s more, our youngest son is out there killing people in our name, wearing his guild tags with pride as he hands beatdown after beatdown to any Republic scum that’s dumb enough to get in his way. Brings a tear to my eye to see his kill list grow and grow along with his huge list of MVP votes he gets from grateful Imperials. Hey, at least they know who to bow down to.

As I posted at the start, blogging here is an activity that only takes place when there’s a few minutes of spare time or whatever. This could change, and honestly, I’d like to start posting more frequently and actually posting with some things of substance, so who knows.

~Rakk


 

 

Still here. Still killing. Stop crying.

April 25, 2012 Category: Clan News • 0 Comments

Yes, yes we’re still here. We’ve been too busy having fun and beating the snot out of the weakass Reps on our PvP Server to stop and post about it. Kind of retarded, Plus real life commitments. I wouldn’t expect you Eonewb-Stalkers that still read us and talk about us on the forums after HOW many years to KNOW what “real life” is, much less getting an actual one that demands your time.

So, keep your eyes here. We have a LOT of PKing footage and I do so enjoy making movies showing people how much they suck and how much we rule considering the so-called PvPers are decked in PvP gear, we’re in modded gear and we smoke the shit out of them. Ah yes, children, many, many pictures of their deaths, many gig of videos to go with it.

 

Feed the Ego

~Rakk


 

 

BioWare Guild Summit

February 15, 2012 Category: Clan News • 0 Comments

So BioWare is holding a special exclusive Guild Summit and took applications. I submitted ours. And we got in.

This only further proves my point, people. You all can talk and talk, try your hardest to knock us down and try and ignore our proven history and be all obsessive with your hatred of us – looking at you, Eonewbs – but the real world works otherwise. The fact that out of thousands of guilds to apply, and we are one of the few that got in speaks VOLUMES.

Feed the Ego…

~Lord Rakknarr


 

 

Pay Attention! Shit’s Happenin’ Here!

February 9, 2012 Category: Clan News • 0 Comments

For those of you that don’t have the attention span of a small salad bar will notice the top logo has changed. I have gone ahead and put the logos of the MMORPGs that I felt we had/have a solid presence in.

We began in UO and grew to be the most well known, most hated, and most feared Clan on the Catskills Server. We had our own player made TOWN that everyone knew…if you went there you were dead and dry looted so fast you’d think a GM did it. As a matter of fact, our Town (named Shadar Logoth) is still listed on UO Stratics as a permanent part of Catskills and PhM history. All of you asshats can try and argue the facts all you like. You’re only proving one thing – that you’re so obsessed with hating us, you can’t accept the facts that we ARE who we say we are and we can, will and DO back up every single word we say with proof.

In Shadowbane, we managed to hook up in an alliance with the two “largest good guy” guilds on the server while making backdoor deals with “the bad guilds” on the server, and because of us….the entire server, every single city on it, was destroyed in a day. Took us 3 months to do this.

In the CoH/CoV games, we had our HQ, but quickly got bored with the ease in which we’d kill others, so we split after 4 months.

WOW, well, I shouldn’t have to say it…..but I will. We absolutely DESTROYED every single one of you little shits in that game. You’re a bunch of Eonewbs that couldn’t PvP your way out of a wet paper bag with a chainsaw and a shotgun. You know it. We know it. Hell, I wrote SEVERAL “How To Gank in WOW” articles and you all STILL didn’t learn! I got paid because of our pure brute strength and flat out SKILL in PvP Combat.

Then came Warhammer Online. And again, we dominated. People posted hate threads on BOTH sides because we are so incredibly good at killing, Order players targetted us solely, Destruction players were jealous of us. Forums lit up with how hated we were to the point that the losers we decided to try and allow them to ally with us all crumbled under their own weight of ineptitude….and they ALL disbanded on BOTH sides while we’re still here.

Now in SWTOR, we are again dominating the world PvP front with a steady crew of Warzone PvPing, building our reputation there. As a matter of fact, every Rep scum we ran into paniced and tried to run away as opposed to fighting for their lives. You’d think people joined a PvP Server for the freedom of random world PvP, not try to run away whenever you get attacked….idiots…

Anyway, keep it here, because we’re going to be starting up our podcasts again if time permits. Maybe you’ll actually LEARN something this time. I’m not holding my breath, though.

~Lord Rakknarr, GM, The PhM

 


 

 

Move along, move along…..

January 28, 2012 Category: Clan News • 0 Comments

So Beckett MOG is done. The last issue has gone to press. I have it and the lovely check that comes with the articles I wrote in it. The magazine, for whatever reason, is going bye-bye, but fear not! My gems of pure PvP Wisdom are not gone. I’ve been talking / researching other avenues to write for, so we’ll see what happens.

In the meantime, we’re demolishing everyone we meet in SWTOR and having a blast doing it. Beckett won’t benefit from what we can offer on SWTOR, but someone somewhere will and I’ll continued to get paid to teach you idiots how to PvP.

~Rakk


 

 

Star Wars: The Old Republic Early Access

December 13, 2011 Category: Clan News • 0 Comments

Yes, The PhM is in the game. Being press – that whole journalist for Beckett MOG and all – has major perks. I logged in the very second the servers came up and emails were being sent and I was literally the first player in the game. I wish I had been able to take a screenshot of the /who list, but I don’t need to prove it to you people. I know it’s fact. So first player in….me. First Guild created on our server….ours.

See the rest of you in game….whenever they decide you’re allowed in….eventually.

~Rakk


 

 

Beckett Issues #33 and #34

December 7, 2011 Category: Clan News • 0 Comments

Haven’t updated because, well, we’ve been beta testing SWTOR. But anyways, here you go, kids.

I’ll teach you how to go from PvE to PvP. Yes that’s right. Your leet PvE Raid Gear don’t mean dick in PvP.
And it seems you people need to learn a lot more than how to play. Like the other article in the issue I wrote: The Life-cycle of MMORPGs Beckett’s Massive Online Gamer Magazine Issue #34!

Here I teach you all about the playstyle WE created. RP-PvP. How can I claim we invented it? Because we did. Waaay back in Ultima Online BETA testing 1995/1996. So yes, I can and will proudly yell in your face that it’s a gameplay style WE CREATED.
On top of that lesson, I have another one for you that every single moron that plays WOW needs to learn. No game is “a WOW clone”. In fact, WOW isn’t original in any way, shape or form. It’s an EQ clone. And what’s EQ? A UO Clone turned stupid. And what’s UO? A MUD Clone. And what’s a MUD (you probably don’t even know what that really is anyways), it’s a D&D Clone. Get the picture yet? Well even if you do, read my article on WOW Clone-itis (aka WOW didn’t do it first, dipshits) Beckett’s Massive Online Gamer Magazine Issue #33!

~Rakk