The Blagtoof WarTribe / PhM • PKing Your Ass Since September 25th 1996



 

Mission Accomplished : Are You Paying Attention?

July 26, 2010 Category: Clan News0 Comments

Well you should be…..that is…if you plan on learning how to PvP…ever. The Magazines are hitting the racks regularly. My introductory “how-to” article on Ganking your sorry asses in World of WarCraft hit the stands in May and they are being purchased, read, and as I expected poorly executed. Hey, I can tell you how all I want, but if you guys just simply suck, there’s not much I can do. You can’t fix “suck”, and you all indeed suck. Soon Part 2 in the Series will be on the racks, then in a couple of months you’ll find Part 3. If you idiots think really hard, bust out the calculators and ask your dumber than dogshit parents that crapped you out, you’ll realize that there’s a number pattern going on!

What’s even better are the crybabies that really can’t handle this shit and take it seriously. People actually whine and cry on their little blogs about the articles I write. That’s fucking HYSTERICAL to me.

These are the same idiots that think we’ve ever really given a flying shit what they think or that this site is in any way, shape or form remotely serious. Will no one EVER get it that this is MEANT to pour salt on the wound because it’s downright funny to see how the dumber mouth breathers of the general population react?! Then again, if they actually ever DO get it, we’d be out of business…

The funny part? I get paid to piss you emo-bitches off either way. Thanks!

~Blagtoof


 

 

I LOVE being right…since I always am…

May 8, 2010 Category: Clan NewsComments Off

So let’s recap a second…was it I who said “Fansites cannot make money or sell ads because it’s against the TOS of having a fansite for an mmorpg“? Yes, I believe it was. And did some nutball psychos go insane-stalker about it? Yes, I believe they did. And are all of those supposed fansites all gone and wiped clean long before the one they stalked said “screw this we’re out of here”? Yes, I believe they are. And is one of them now being sued by Games Workshop for the very thing I said was ILLEGAL for them to do? Yes, I believe they are. Seems motherfuckers need to shut up and listen to me more often.

LOL Go Games Workshop! I love that company.

GOD, some days I really just LOVE being me.

~Blagtoof


 

 

Never Fear, Blagtoof is still here!

March 23, 2010 Category: Clan NewsComments Off

We’ve been busy. Too busy to spam posts on our site. How busy? Keep an eye on the newstands in the coming months.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll all actually learn something so we can finally have some form of a challenge after 14 years of wiping the virtual landscape with you losers.

 ~Blagtoof


 

 

If you’re going to try and gank someone, you might not want to fail hysterically.

January 6, 2010 Category: Clan NewsComments Off

So, we have a fast few new uploads to the Clan Kills & Whiners Gallery

Here I am, in Outland in Thrallmar checking out the smithing and mining shit to see wot I can do next. Not paying attention at all. Next thing I know, this little bitchass Paladin, level 80, unguilded, tries jumping me and ganking me. Well, I remove the stun, dismount and beat his teeth in even with him using ALL of his bubbles and life saving heals.

As I’m emote spamming his ass for failing at a gank, he logs onto an ALT TO CRY TO ME!!

I get him so angry that he capslock cries, typos and rage logs with a threat that he’s going to “blast my name in trade” and that I’ll see how it feels to be “capped”. LOL

Here are the pics.


 

You can tell he’s just a dopey brat that’s not only pissed he failed at ganking, but he’s illiterate too AND can’t count…it WAS one vs. one. He just failed horribly.
I like the complaining about Army of the dead being used when he used all the bubbles he can, lay hands AND tried ganking me in the middle of Thrallmar. I used all that woz available to me at my disposal to defend myself against someone trying to gank and grief and won. He used all at HIS disposal in attempt to gank and grief and failed……then tried to talk shit, failed there because I got him to nerdrage capslock AND ragelog and make some kind of lame ‘only a child would care about’ threat for a rematch….but never came back to fight.

He woz outgunned, outplayed and outclassed.

EDIT - UPDATE (1/28/10) : Apparently this woz too much for the lil’ pussy pally….he changed servers and changed names with that transfer. How do I know? I friend every little twat I kill on my Alliance alts so I can hunt them down when I’m bored. Name changes still show on the friends list. Server Transfers or character deletion result in a ‘Player Not Found’ message upon login. See?! This is wot happens when little bitchass kids play on a PvP Server and come up against REAL PKers…they spend at LEAST $25 for a server transfer.

Hail to the King, baby. 

~Blagtoof

 

 

Really people, if you’re going to play on a PvP Server, you might wanna learn how to PvP…

December 9, 2009 Category: Clan News0 Comments

You would think it common sense that if people are going to be on a PvP Server, that they might at LEAST be PREPARED for PvP 24/7, and by reason of constant practice, be a bit better than the PvE server scrubs.

You would think.

But apparently on our server, the Alliance players are simply PvE scrubs that seem lost and misplaced on the server type they’re on. To put it plainly and not mince words because it’s far too fucking early for me to be awake and typing, these people fucking suck. How do you play on a PvP Server and suck so badly at PvP?! I REALLY want to know. Well at any rate, we’ve been wiping the floor with these scrubs alot. From my wife and I ganking random idiots as we level, to Rakha and I (80 and 75) 2v2ing two completely raiding gear decked out players (80 Paladin and 80 Shaman) and utterly demolishing them at the Crossroads the other morning. And I mean demolishing. We chased one of them all the way back to Rachet and kicked his teeth in while fighting the Goblin guards that are there to PREVENT in-town PvP, and the other we camped and PKed so much, that s/he just logged out and waited a few hours to make sure we were gone before trying to res and leave again.

And the real kicker? They all talk and act like they’re GOOD while slamming the rest of the Alliance side on the server. So basically, without even realizing it, they’re saying they’re the best fingerpainters in the Retard Class. Good job, Corky.

Man, when we all hit 80, it’s going to be a real bloodbath on this server. These fuckin’ nubs aren’t going to know wot hit them.

~Blagtoof


 

 

W.A.R. Patch 1.3.3

December 3, 2009 Category: Clan News0 Comments

So, after having to move the guild of all 2 of us that are left with open accounts in W.A.R., I decided to log on to the test server to try the new patch with the awe-inspiring new RvR features, underdog system and amazing HD and Bloom effects.

Let’s just say that the new features are fucking pointless and do nothing to address the real issues with the game, and working and polishing the graphics of a game that went from 100 servers and 1.7 million people to 4 servers and 20 THOUSAND people in only one year is not the best course of action. So it looks prettier. Ooo. Wow. If no one’s there to see it, who gives a fuck?! The major problems that killed the game are still there. Lack of BALANCE between the factions.

Guess it’s actually time to cancel my sub. I gave them enough time. They’re clearly completely out of touch and have zero hope of getting a clue….maybe they’ll get one for Christmas…but I’m not about to hold my breath.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have Alliance scrubs to gank the shit out of with my wife in WOW.

~Blagtoof


 

 

Don’t cry, we’re still here.

December 2, 2009 Category: Clan NewsComments Off

As Warhammer Online dies a slow, painful death being the catastrophic failure it is (they’ve shut down MORE servers, only 4 left!) we’re enjoying our time back in WOW insanely. So those wondering why there are no updates here lately? Simple. We’re busy having fun. Maybe we’ll get back to posting updates regularly but right now it’s only when I’m in the mood. Deal with it.

 

So let’s update…

We’re beating the PISS out of the Alliance pussies on our WOW PvP server. They’re just horrible players. You’d expect more out of people on a PvP server, but sadly, this is not the case.

In W.A.R., we have transfered our guild ONCE AGAIN. We’re off of Pheonix Throne, as it’s closing down. But have no fear, our guild banner still flies in W.A.R. even if NONE OF US PLAY IT. All but one Blagtoof subscription ran out today. Good job, Mythic. Fuckin’ assholes.

~Blagtoof


 

 

Toofchinima : The Trailer

October 26, 2009 Category: Clan NewsComments Off

It’s that time again, kids. Time for us to start showing all the newbs out there how the big boys do it. You’ve all suffered through some pretty lousy Machinima movies the past few years, so allow us to give you proper entertainment - the kind that comes from making fun of everyone else.

Welcome to Toof-chinima : The medium of Machinima…Blagtoof style.

Toofchinima : The Trailer

Feed the Ego.

~Blagtoof


 

 

1996 - 2009 : 13 years of Online Dominance and no end in sight!

September 25, 2009 Category: Clan NewsComments Off

So….13 years ago this very day, this Guild was created…

Alot has happened in those years. We’ve experienced massive member changes, game changes, and in the beginning even purpose changes. What I mean by that is, we dint start out this way. But as things go, necessity forces evolution and like a Shark, it’s swim or die, so of course we chose to keep swimming and in order for that to happen, we needed to grow teeth and become a predator, else we become the prey. Every year that passed in the beginning called for us to evolve that much more until we were exactly wot you see today - an elite online killing force made up of good friends and family. It’s not rocket science why our formula works, but oddly enough it seems to ONLY work for us, as any other flash in the pan guild that came along over these long years that has either tried to do wot we do or tried to claim they do wot we do simply fails and implodes in upon itself. And our impact is pretty evident. I still get emails from random UOers from back in the day surprised and happy that we’re still around. Our old WOW Server Forums still have regular threads about “the old days” and they go on about us for pages - we left & the server died, and in W.A.R., even though that game is dying a slow, agonizingly painful death due to Developer IDIOCY, people are still reading and buying the worldwide published magazine we were in and the new issues that keep coming out with new articles on how to not suck complete ass, all of the Order guilds that claimed they’d combat us have all vanished, and the ones that actually tried have ALSO vanished, funny enough, and the Destruction ones turned out to be just as bad. Either all talk or just the typical flash in the panners, they’re all but gone themselves leaving in their wake a plethora of excuses, whines and bullshit reasons for their inevitable failure. Meanwhile we’re here not only celebrating our 13th anniversary (in our 14th year now), but we’re going strong - possibly stronger than ever with our strongest line-up ever.

So while it would be easy to drone on here, I won’t. The simple fact is, no guild has done wot we have and no other could honestly COULD. Admit it or not, like it or not, we’re known worldwide thanks to our ongoing presence in publication, we’re the LONGEST running MMORPG guild in existence, the first and only RP-PK guild (we invented it, asshats) and the guild everyone in every game loves to hate but can’t seem to have a good time without. I’m proud of us, I’m thankful to and proud to play / fight / kill along side and my friends and family in this guild, and I can’t wait to see where this all goes next!

Happy Anniversary!

Feed the Ego.

~Blagtoof


 

 

W.A.R. - A Realistic 1 Year Anniversary Review

September 20, 2009 Category: Clan NewsComments Off

 So here we are kids. The 1 year anniversary of the release of the most promising, potential-filled MMORPG since WOW….and we’re here to cut through all the bullshit and whining to give you a real look at the game, from both sides of the faction-fence and it’s journey from the very exclusive Closed Beta that we were part of (and none of you were until they started letting scrubs and losers in) to this very day. And wot a journey. Whoever said the best part is the journey and not the destination must have known W.A.R. woz coming. Let’s address Mr. Hickman’s recent interview where he states W.A.R.’s biggest 3 problems and answer him before going on our rant about this colossal failure called Warhammer Online : Age of Reckoning, shall we?

Read More »