The first thing to get straight. We don’t mass recruit. We don’t run around and ask other people to join us. People come to us. We’ve been around for a long time, we have a long standing tradition and we have our reputation to protect. At no time will you see any of us running around trying to recruit just anybody. Guilds that do that make us sick and we tend to point and laugh at those desperate folks. Below you’ll find all you need to know about what both guilds look for in members.

Joining the PhM
Anyone can join us. But we won’t just accept anyone. It takes a certain dedication to be a member of this guild. If you don’t have enough of an attention span to even read all of the information on the site, then you’re not for us. Go away. Don’t waste our time.

Guild Hoppers, Attention Whores
If you’re what we call a “Guild Whore” or Guild Hopper” then go away. Don’t waste our time. We want dedicated people in our guild and we don’t want to have someone join the guild and decide to leave after 3 weeks because we don’t kiss their ass or cater to their attention-needs.

Social Seekers
We also despise the cyber-crowd. If you’re looking for a SOCIAL LIFE, don’t join us. Go away. We are not a dating service and we are not your personal community message board. We play the game. We will not and do not sit around and yack all day in taverns with zero regard to whatever else the game has to offer. If you are that lacking in a social life, then log off the video game and go outside and get one. We will not provide you with one here. We will not cater to your hysteria needs, psychological problems, or listen to you whine for 16 hours every day about how your life sucks, you got PKed, they cancelled your favorite TV show and you want to cut your wrists open with a plastic butter-knife (Yes that actually happened). We don’t care. We’re playing the game. Go away. Don’t waste our time.

What we DO want
Can you role-play or have some express desire to attempt it? Good. We’ll consider you.
Can you type ENGLISH and not net speak, l337 d00d or some stupid short hand? Good. We’ll consider you.
Can you PvP? Good. We’ll consider you.
Are you mature enough to handle yourself like a respectable human being? Good. We’ll consider you.
Are you willing to die fighting for the guild and the members? Good. We’ll consider you.
Will you stick with the guild, through thick and thin, good and bad, active and inactive, boring and fun times? Good. We’ll consider you.
Do you have a brain and use it in your daily life? Good. We’ll consider you.

VoIP (Ventrilo for those that are too stupid)

We use it. I pay for it. It’s required if you plan to be in this Clan. If not, move along. We don’t want you.

Joining the Blagtoof WarTribe
Before you even read further, if you thought the PhM Requirements were a bit harsh and a pain, then stop reading now. You’ll never make it through this section.

Race
You don’t have to be an Orc. You can be anything that would fit in the Tribe. Of course, the WarBoss decides if you’d fit, so even if you come to him as an Orc, if you don’t “fit” you won’t get in. Simple as that.

What we DO want
Of course, go along with the same rules and types of people we don’t want listed above. Now, what we DO want is very strict. You will role-play. We’re not asking you. We’re telling you. If you don’t want to, don’t join. If you want to try it, fine. But if you slip up, you’re gone.
You will be able to PvP. If you think you can join the Tribe and sit around all day and not get bashed in the head because you’re a smithy or tailor or whatever, you’re wrong. All members of the Tribe serve in battles.
You will be mature. No whining you got killed. No whining, PERIOD.
You will be able to type complete and coherant sentences. Yes role-playing you might speak another language or broken english, but when we discuss things on messangers or private chats and message boards, if you can’t type like a normal human being and you type like some halfwit child that uses internet shorthand and can’t spell a single word, you’re gone. We don’t care that “english isn’t your first language”. You’re playing a game that’s in english. Learn the language.

Closing
Now you must be saying, “Who the hell do you think you are?” I’ll tell you who we are. We’re the PhM and if you don’t like it, you don’t have to apply. We’ve been doing things this way for MANY years and we honestly don’t NEED members to join us. We’re established and could care less if 9 or 900 people want in. The fact is people ask us all the time, and the calibur of players requesting membership has prompted these guidelines, because, quite simply, you wouldn’t BELIEVE the kinds of people we run into.

Bottom line, if you think you have the dedication to play in a guild of good people, good friends and are willing to have alot of fun without all of the usual garbage that comes with MMORPGs and the community, then apply. If you’re going to be someone we can count on, that will be there for the GUILD, then apply. If you’re just looking for a social life, looking to power level without working for your guild, or looking to get catered to, go elsewhere. We play as friends, we ARE friends. When you apply, be sure and tell us your strengths and weaknesses and maybe we can work from there.